needing vs wanting money
Academics are certainly not known for being money-grubbing, but money is still the currency that powers our prestige. Grants, awards, fellowships, scholarships. These are the shiny objects proudly displayed as a symbol of our success.
Lately, I've been pondering the duality of money. Needing money is shameful. Wanting money is power. But money is just money, is it not? In college, I earned a full tuition scholarship - a fact that I've shared with very few people and something I never put on my resume. I never want to speak about it, let alone think about what I went through to win the award. It wasn't until I was deep into my PhD program that I realized something like this in an emblem of prestige. The reality is that I view the scholarship as a symbol of desperation and needing money to survive. Do others feel this way and choose to attach themselves to markers of success anyways?